Karma & Diamonds

One thing a narcissist will often do in an argument is ask this: “Okay, give me one example of when I did that.” And suddenly your mind goes blank. You know the pattern. You know how it felt. You know it has happened before. Yet in that moment you can’t pull up one clear example on demand. That doesn’t mean you’re lying. It doesn’t mean you imagined it. It also doesn’t mean it did not happen. This is a tactic designed to take power away from you. They drag you into a courtroom you never agreed to enter. They demand perfect details while you’re already emotionally activated. Your nervous system is in fight or flight mode. When that happens the part of your brain that retrieves memories does not work in the same way. They know this, of course. By forcing you to produce one perfect example, they shift the focus away from the pattern and onto you. The second you hesitate, they use it as proof that you’re just exaggerating, being dramatic or unstable. The harm isn’t in the question. The harm is in their putting you on the spot. You are pressured to provide evidence while you’re overwhelmed, worn down and already doubting yourself from their constant denial and invalidation. That’s why later, when you’re calm, the examples come flooding back, when your mind finally feels safe enough to access them. If you struggle to recall details in the heat of an argument with someone who constantly denies your reality, to not see this as a flaw in you. This is good information because it shines a light on how unsafe the dynamic between you and them really is. #narcissist #narcissism

He doesn’t see her as a partner. He sees her as something he owns. In his mind she is there to support his image not to be understood or valued. People rarely talk about this part… 1️⃣ “She’ll never leave me” He weakens her sense of self until she believes she cannot manage without him. He chips away at her confidence until she feels small. Reality: She can leave. The moment she chooses herself over his control is the moment his power disappears. 2️⃣ “If she walks away I’ll pull her back” He offers whatever sounds convincing in the moment. Therapy, change, affection, anything that keeps her close. None of it is about healing. It is about access. Protect yourself: Believe patterns not promises. Consistency is what reveals truth. 3️⃣ “She exists to keep me feeling superior” He needs her to be unsure and doubting so he can feel certain and strong. When she grows, he cuts her down. When she breaks, he feels in control. Heal by remembering: You were never the problem. You were with someone who felt threatened by your strength. 4️⃣ “No one will believe her” He prepares his audience early. He labels her unstable or dramatic so that when she speaks people doubt her first. Protect your heart: You do not need to convince anyone who chooses his version of events. Truth reveals itself with time. 5️⃣ “I’ll keep her off balance” He shifts between cruelty and affection, guilt and comfort. The inconsistency keeps her hoping for the version of him that never stays. The way out: Clarity. Write down what you experience. When you see it in your own words the pattern becomes undeniable. 6️⃣ “She still cares so I still win” He measures control by the emotion she gives him. Pain, confusion, affection, it all feeds his ego. Heal by reclaiming your energy. You do not need to hate him. You only need to stop giving him access to the parts of you he misused. #marriage #narcissist

When the truth gets close, they’ll often create a distraction. They change the topic, attack your character, bring up your past or claim you’ve hurt their feelings. They might even create a smear campaign against you. It’s not about resolving the issue, it’s about stopping the truth from coming out and damaging their image. ㅤ #gaslighting #narcissisticabuse #accountability #emotionalabuse

Sensitivity isn’t a weakness, it’s your super power 🤍 #sensitive #sensitivity

Constantly being ignored, corrected or talked over makes anyone question themselves. If you’re told you’re overreacting every time you bring up a real issue, you start scanning yourself instead of the situation. This makes you feel insecure and that’s a normal response to being constantly treated dismissively. ㅤ #gaslighting #selftrust #relationshiphealing #traumarecovery

Here’s why it happens: ▪️You get used to not having preferences When you were with someone who criticised you, dismissed you or accused you of being “too much,” it was easier not to choose. Over time, you learn to keep things neutral so no one can judge you. ▪️It can feel safer not to get attached Some people avoid decorating because it feels like settling in. If you’ve lived with life changes happening suddenly, you might stay in a “ready to leave” mindset without even noticing it. ▪️You stop trusting your own taste If you were constantly corrected or mocked, you can start second-guessing everything. It’s not that you don’t care. It’s that choosing feels stressful rather than fun. ▪️You’re focused on getting through the day When you’re recovering, you put your energy into functioning. Eating, sleeping, working, parenting, staying calm. Decorating can feel like something other people do and not something you have the capacity for. If you’re starting to want a home that feels warm and personal again, this can be a real sign you’re coming back to yourself. You were coping - not lazy or behind. If this is you, what’s one small thing you’d like to do first? A candle, a photo, a plant, new bedding? #narcissisticabuse #traumahealing #narcissisticabuserecovery #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #healingfromtrauma

The turning point is when you stop waiting for permission to be treated well. Choosing yourself doesn’t require a dramatic exit. It can look like reducing how often you’re in contact, saying no without explaining, or leaving the conversation when it turns disrespectful. You get to decide what your life feels like. ㅤ #boundaries #selfrespect #healing #emotionalwellbeing

Here they are: 1️⃣ They act concerned but they’re not They ask what’s new, then keep pushing for details. Later you realise they weren’t trying to support you but trying to get information so they could ruin your peace. 2️⃣ Their “compliments” don’t feel good “You look happy… must be nice.” It sounds friendly but it’s a dig. It’s usually jealousy dressed up as a joke. 3️⃣ They keep showing up in small ways They watch your stories, like old posts or pop up where you are. It’s a reminder that they’re still around. 4️⃣ They get weird when you’re doing well They can’t just be happy for you. They make comments, change the mood or try to get a reaction out of you. 5️⃣ There’s always some urgent drama The minute you’re busy or feeling good, they suddenly have a crisis. You’re expected to drop everything and focus on them. 6️⃣ They talk about you to other people They start saying you’ve changed, you’re fake or you’re acting strange. It’s a way of making your growth look like a problem. 7️⃣ They come back being extra sweet Out of nowhere, it’s “I’ve been thinking about you” or “I miss you.” If you’ve been here before, you’ll know how quickly this can revert to the same old pattern. If this feels familiar, don’t think you’re overthinking it. You’re paying attention. Which one have you noticed most? #narcissisticabuse #narcissistrecovery #toxicrelationships #healingjourney #selfworth #boundaries #emotionalhealing #narcissistabuseawareness #healingfromtrauma

Here are the 4 BIGGEST signs a man has a soul tie to you ❤️‍🩹 #relationshiptips #relationshipadvice #relationshipcoach #datingtips #datingadvice #relationshipproblems #soulties

People who benefit from your overgiving will always call your needs “too much.” They prefer you tired, confused and trying harder because it keeps the relationship on their terms. The moment you ask for steadiness of behaviour, care or accountability, you’re suddenly “demanding.” ㅤ #selfworth #relationshippatterns #boundaries #healing

I respect everyone’s sexuality. Fully. Still, when someone marries a person they aren’t actually attracted to, often because they’re confused or trying to “do the right thing,” it can slowly become a painful place for the spouse. This is because he is not really there. (If you’re a man and this resonates with your experience, please replace “he” with “she”. Here are some quiet signs many women feel but struggle to put into words: 1️⃣ Kind, respectful, still emotionally absent He does the “right” things. He’s polite and helpful. Still, he doesn’t meet her emotionally. 2️⃣ She carries the relationship She plans, decides, initiates and holds the emotional load. Over time, she stops feeling like a partner and starts feeling like the one running everything. 3️⃣ Intimacy feels disconnected Though there’s touch and affection, desire is missing. She starts to sense that she’s been chosen for stability or image - not because he truly wants her. That can slowly erode her confidence. 4️⃣ He can’t stay steady when she’s upset When she’s anxious, he mirrors her anxiety. When she’s overwhelmed, he shuts down. She doesn’t feel supported and feels like she has to manage both him as well as herself. 5️⃣ He avoids hard conversations Tension makes him retreat. She learns that saying how she feels creates distance so she stops speaking about her feelings. 6️⃣ She feels lonely beside him Nothing looks “wrong” on the surface. Still, something essential is missing and she knows it. If this resonated, you’re not alone. Share in the comments if you want to, or follow to stay close to this space.

5 ways a narcissistic mother dismantles her own family: 1️⃣ She turns people against each other. She tells one person one story and another person a different one. She plays favourites, repeats private, 1-2-1 conversations and stirs tension so people stop trusting each other. The family ends up divided, and she stays in the centre of it. 2️⃣ She makes everything about herself. If someone’s upset, she becomes the most upset. If someone’s happy, she finds a way to criticise it or ruin the moment. Her needs come first even when someone else is tired, sick or struggling. Everyone learns to keep things quiet to avoid drama. 3️⃣ She controls with fear and guilt. She uses lines like “After everything I’ve done for you” or “You’ve ruined my life” to get her way. She may cry, rage or withdraw until people give in. Over time, the family starts living around her moods. 4️⃣ She lies and rewrites what happened. She denies things she said, changes the story or insists you’re remembering it wrong. When you challenge her, she turns it back on you and makes it your fault. People start doubting themselves and stop speaking up because it feels pointless. 5️⃣ She wears down people’s confidence. She calls others selfish, lazy, ungrateful or too sensitive. Kids and partners start believing they’re the problem. Little by little, their self-trust drops and they start shrinking themselves just to cope.